Admiral Redjec DSO BSC NOB is to release his autobiography "Why I am great (and misunderstood)" by the end of the year. Here is an exclusive extract of the book which is likely to be available in all shops by Christmas and all charity shops by New Year:
If it wasn't for all the people pulling me down then no doubt i would already be DDS Commander but that will come soon. My rise through the ranks is unparalleled. My epic quest to achieve the top prize in the DDS shows my amazing ability and intellect, second only to my amazing modesty. Redjec is success, Quarz (to take a random example) is failure. I hate him!
Of course some small, minute, tiny thanks in part to the little people. You know who you are. Who helped me in a tiny small way to achieve my potential. The school master of course who sadistically beat me at school and touched my bum. Yes you helped me achieve glory in the DDS because i failed my exams and thus had to enter the DDS. At the time it seemed a sad and lonely fate but of course if i had not joined the DDS i would not be in the amazing position i am now in now. A position to lead the DDS to greater heights and to finally destroy the cancer at the heart of humankind. That is the festering sore that is Quarz.
The many girls who turned down my requests for dates, well i know now why because you saw that i need not waste my time on frivolities like fun, beer and sex but i should dedicate myself to endless toil and self-denial so i could achieve my potential...
