Captain Redjec Esq here. Or am I a Commander? I cant tell, my rank changes so often these days, always upwards of course, that i can hardly remember. As you may now i suffered injuries after an unprovoked attack recently but i am on the mend, i will soon be able to walk properly again. Thanks to the many millions of get well soon cards, you lot are a saucy and ironic lot of course. I do advise you lot to be careful though, someone else who got a card saying they hoped i died in agony after being raped with a rusty spike might not realise it was a joke, unlike myself! Quarz of course, whom i hate, would fill his pants.
There have been many false rumours about my condition but i think they have been spread around by The Beast a.k.a. Crystal Ribbon who is the "lover" of Quarz whom i hate. Can you imagine a more disgusting and sick couple than that? I can't! And i need my medication now anyway. I leave you with a photo that i believe displays Quarz, whom i hate, and CR unmasked...
