Commander Von Kane is a rising star in the New DDS, which stands for uncomfortable underwear, cancelled benefits and a lick of the cat. The ship commander played a vital role in the victory over the Tarbotians, here he talks to Latest Victory News.
Latest Victory News : First of all congratulations on your promotion to Commander.
Kurt Von Kane : Danke mein Herr, but you should say Kommandant Englander.
LVN : Er... quite. You have not been in the DDS for long have you.
KVK : Ja, before I voz in der UNP defense force but they are just a load of arschlochs. Alvayz care about der human rights. Gott in Himmel! In der DDS I have der chance to express my true self. Vunderbar!
LVN : But weren't you kicked out of the UNP for gross misconduct?
KVK : It voz a Bolshevik plot. Those schweines vill pay!
LVN : Indeed. Now it seems you arn't German are you, but are English? From Birmingham? In fact your grandfather was the bloke who strapped a nuclear warhead to his head and tried to blow up the Rotunda?
KVK : Dat ich not true! Lies! Englander propaganda!
LVN : And you watched "Allo Allo" and thought it was a documentary?
KVK : Bolshevik lies und plots! Der Fuhrer vill crush them one day. Heil Rotarios!
LVN : OK, so how do you see your career panning out.
KVK : Vun day I will be der Gruppenfuhrer ein der DDS und have mein own fleet of der U-Boats, then der Englanders will be defeated fur der Fuhrer! Sieg!
LVN : Do you think you are in World War 2 or something?? You are an Isometric commander not a U-Boat captain.
KVK : Ja der great var against der Bolsheviks. Anyvay enough of der interview, I have der vork to do. Der Fuhrer orders und I obey. Auf'weidersein Englander. For you ze var is over!!!
LVN : Er... bye bye!
