Fleet news roundup : Provider, Rome, Remedians

The 20th example of the Provider class transport will be known as Spruce Goose and not Cub as previously listed. The ship will still be allocated to the Remedians however. The ship will probably not be constructed until late 2108 though so these details could change again!

The first example of the Rome class OPV is currently in construction (being built alongside the last Pentekonter). The DDS have announced that tests with it's engine have been positive (it has an uprated version of the engine in the Pentekonter) and the ship will now have a top speed of 600c.

Recently the DDS and Remedian Navy have held a joint study into what to replace the Remedian fleet of Kalahati Tuuls with once they reach their end of lives in around 10 years time. The DDS considered rebuilding the ships to give them 10-15 years more service but it was considered wasteful as the ships would be expensive to de-obsolete. The preferred option at the moment is that the DDS will give the Remedians the Isometric class frigate fleet and build new frigates for DDS service. The Isometric is due for an ILU programme in around 2109 but this may be delayed to merge in with the probably MULE update in the late 2110s. In Remedian service the ships would not need to be quite as up-to-date as in DDS service so the DDS could save money in updating the Isometrics (probably using technology from the Terran Sea ILU which would probably be occurring around then).

What would replace the Isometrics in DDS service is unknown but a DDS spokeswoman said it was likely the DDS would go for a design similar to the Terran Sea.

DDS Christmas Quiz (2106 edition)

OK Christmas is coming and Windy is ready to get his presents... so how clued up have you been in the crazy DDS Universe this year? Take this quiz to find out!

1) Our 100th issue UV100 featured the rise of what?
a) The Hoods
b) Windy's penis
c) Price of fish

2) What did conspiracy nutjob Goodson discover evidence of?
a) A massacre called by Ronald
b) Defects in the reactor core of DDS ships
c) DDS involved in crime

3) What did the Rectoids plan to do to defeat the DDS once and for all?
a) Biogenic attack on Proxima
b) Go back in time and prevent the evolution of humans
c) Massive military attack

4) Who was made Deputy SS Commander to keep an eye on Lakes?
a) Z-B-H
b) Gibson
c) Razorback

5) What did Future Guy do after Ronald beheaded Megara to replace the ex-HCS agent?
a) Create a robot Megara
b) Clone Megara
c) Bring in a female Megara from another timeline

6) Which of the following recruits did not make it to the end of recruit school as he couldn't do a space walk?
a) Louis
b) Krusty
c) El Radigol

7) How was Windy rewarded for defeating the Rectoids?
a) DDS Medal Of Honour
b) Being able to shoot paintballs up Quarz's arse
c) Sex with the 1st DDS Space Marines Brigade, all of them

8) XE's terrorist group is called?
a) Return Of The Eye
b) Soldiers Of Oojok
c) Sword Of Truth

9) Who got married in 2106?
a) Smellyson & Pheldira
b) Quarz & Deliate Flower
c) Ronald & Holisai

10) What does Quarz call his Pentekonter OPV?
a) SS Brasidas
b) SS Death Trap
c) SS Certain Death

So how did you do? The answers are below but don't forget people who peek will be punished... There are 10 questions so it shouldn't require advanced mathematics to work out your percentage so Deal Or No Deal...

0-30% - The Banker owns your ass
31-50% - You dealt on 5K and your box held 250K, idiot
51-70% - Congratulations you got 100K, now buy me a beer
71%+ - The Banker is your bitch

ANSWERS :
1A 2A 3B 4A 5C 6A 7B 8C 9A 10B

DDS get 6 new ships but lose 1

At a big ceremony at Proxima Space HQ Lord Rotarios (hail to his polished helmet!) accepted no less than 6 new ships into the DDS fleet (though one will be operated by the Remedians). Firstly is Terran Sea frigate 3217 Flores Sea, the last Terran Sea Type B. From next year production will be of the Type C. Also the latest batch of Pentekonters, 3516 Cleon 3517 Pausanias 3518 Leonidas and 3519 Herodotus. Now just one remains to be completed to finish the Pentekonter class. Construction of the follow-on Rome class has now begun.

The latest Provider class transport 7913R Liberator Express was also accepted though this will join the Remedian fleet. It remains owned by the DDS however. Regretfully the DDS has had to withdraw a ship also. Coril class shuttle 8101V Charlotte, which was one of the oldest ships remaining in the fleet (purchased in 2094 though was built by the Tarbotians in 2079), suffered structural failure in dock due to expired life. The DDS decided it was not economic to repair the ship. All other Corils are being examined for fatigue as such a failure in operation could well have been catastrophic to the crew.

Crickson on Deal Or No Deal and wins... 1 zark

SS Stormtrooper and reality TV "star" Crickson has managed to extend his 15 minutes of fame by a few more seconds by appearing on Dino Deal Or No Deal. Somehow Crickson managed to make himself more hated than the Banker! He ended up turning down an offer for thousands of zarks because he was sure his box contained more money. It contained 1 zark. The loser.

M-B-H released and pardoned... by himself

Despite his millions of crimes M-B-H was able to walk away from SS HQ a free Dino. Lakes correctly pointed out that under Dino Law M-B-H was still Emperor and thus had the power of pardon. He promptly pardoned himself! No longer wanted under any crime M-B-H was immediately released from custody by the SS much to the disgust of Ronald.

M-B-H has joined VERITAS = TRUTH, the party formed by Lakes. Although in a few days his Emperorship will expire M-B-H has set his sights on becoming a Consul. He has appointed himself a Senator when the Emperorship expires. Ronald froze all powers of the Emperorship (including his own) to prevent M-B-H making any more decrees.

M-B-H will have to be careful after january 1st however, as he will be no longer Emperor he will not be immune from prosecution anymore. He has promised a clean fight in the politics of the new Republic though no one believes that for a second of course.

UV107 : Beyond The Book Barons

Prepare thyself for the last regular series UV of the year, a bowel shattering collection of stories. In Men Expert Quarz is forced to battle the Utrek in his untrusty ship SS Death Trap. In On The Edge a Kenora class cruiser wreck is sought for by the DDS but have the Zones got there already? In New Vanguard Windy returns to Cloneworld to secretly watch the test of a new HCS ABM system.

Finally in Temporal Assassin Ronald turns the tables on Future Guy and traps him... who turns out to be M-B-H! UV107 is available in all cute girl's makeup boxes this christmas. Stay tuned for the winter special at the end of the year UV108 More Chronicles Of Ron!

Future Guy is... M-B-H

"Future Guy" has been captured the Dino Army has announced. The mysterious temporal criminal who has been attempting to kill Ronald has been unveiled as former-Emperor M-B-H! The Chosen One was seized when he was trapped at SS GHQ. Although its been several years since the dissappearance (and assumed death) of M-B-H when his Dinomark flew into a sub-space hole he has only aged 5 months since then according to reports.

M-B-H has been placed under arrest though his ex-acolyte SS-Commander Lakes has said that M-B-H is still officially an Emperor and thus should be immune from any criminal charges.

Character of the week : M-B-H

The self-styled Chosen One was thought to be missing in action but has been unveiled as "Future Guy" (see news story) and is now in custody.

M-B-H is the son of G-B-H, Ronald's best friend and deputy, and a promising career looked destined for M-B-H as he rose to Tribune in the army. However M-B-H grew impatient and annoyed as he saw people like Smellyson overtake him in the pecking order. He thought that he would never reach what he saw as his rightful place : the Emperorship. Therefore M-B-H began a secret campaign to destabilise Ronald. He colluded with the ABBOs and Terrasaurs to put the Dinos under full-stretch then tried to have Ronald killed. His plan failed and M-B-H was uncovered as a traitor. But he managed to escape and became a fugative.

M-B-H joined the HCS and soon became one of Oojok's most valued lieutenants. He eventually was made one of the "Kings" when Oojok tried splitting the Clone Empire into 4 Kingdoms. M-B-H still aspired to the Dino Emperorship though and tried to kill Ronald again. His plan was thought to have succeeded and M-B-H became Emperor after the election (with typical Dino logic even a traitor like M-B-H can be considered the right man for the job). However when Ronald was found to be not dead the Dino Empire was forced to become a dual-Emperorship as M-B-H was legally the monarch also.

M-B-H now bored of being in the HCS and was kicked out by Oojok but was not really bothered. Now he plotted to dispose of Ronald so he could rule on his own. He attempted a coup using the SS but his plans failed and he was forced to flee. M-B-H dissappeared in a subspace accident and was thought lost but instead was catapulted into the far future. He was saved by a time tourist from the 42nd century who arrived in M-B-H's time period by mistake. He showed M-B-H how to operate his timeship (and M-B-H thanked him by marooning him on the desolate future Dino-Land where he could be raped to death by giant horny centipedes). M-B-H attempted to destroy Ronald using his time technology but failed again.

So is M-B-H really the Chosen One or really a jealous loser? There is no doubt he is a highly dangerous individual with a good line in cutting remarks. His ruthlessless knows no bounds and he is twisted by unbridled ambition. There is no doubt that the Chosen One will continue in his quest to seize power until his death!

HCS Navy raid museum for submarine!

The HCS Navy is going to have to wait until the next decade for any submarines which gives them a real problem with respect to training. They have decided to rectify this by leasing back an ex-navy submarine from a private marine museum in Old Koroky, Micom. The Tinfish SSK (SS-14) was once part of an 8 strong fleet that patrolled the shores of Cloneworld's continent but was withdrawn following the disbanding of the old Clone Navy.

The submarine was kept in working order by the museum however and has been used for trips for businessmen and the like. The HCS Navy have leased the submarine back for 5 years with an option of another 5 years for 6 million zarks. As part of the lease deal the submarine will be refurbished into combat order by the HCS Navy. The submarine has been designated CNS Tinfish and will begin training missions by next summer.

HCS Navy discussed

The Head of Development of the New Clone Navy (HCSN) Admiral V. Phoebus has held a briefing with defence journalists and detailed the final formation of the 1st Fleet of the new navy. He said that 6 destroyers, 6 frigates and 12 submarines (6 SSN and 6 SSK) would eventually form the protection for the aircraft carrier CNS Cloneworld. A second carrier would be built also at a later date. Currently the carrier, 3 frigates and 2 destroyers are under construction (and 1 frigate is already in service).

Phoebus said that the problem with shipyard capacity would be solved when a large new shipyard opened on the eastern coast of Ailier in 2108. He hoped to have the full fleet up and running by 2112 with limited fleet operations from 2109. A second fleet for Aquaworld would also be built with construction starting of that by the end of this decade. A third fleet operating in the western and southern oceans of Cloneworld was planned for the 2120s.

Phoebus said the new frigates were based on the Ailier singleton class but were larger with a 48 cell VLS instead of 32 on CNS Ailier.

New HCS Navy officially formed

The HCS Navy has been officially accepted into the HCS at a ceremony at the northern Ailier coastal port of Reuilla. As part of the ceremony the first ship of the new navy, the frigate CNS Ailier was accepted into service. Ailier is not a new ship but the last surviving ship of the old Clone Navy that was withdrawn when the navy got rid of it's blue water assets and became a coastal and river patrol arm of the HCS some years ago. Ailier, due to it's nearly new condition, was put into storage. It has been refurbished and returned to working order and had it's systems and armament updated.

Three new frigates, two destroyers and an aircraft carrier are currently being built. Two transport ships and three oilers have been transferred to the navy from the merchant reserve. All vessels and personnel of the HCS Riverine Fleet (HCSRF) including 6 Triona class OPVs will be transferred in the new year.

40 Ex-Naval F-40Ns have also been returned to the HCS Navy to form a land based regiment at Ailier North AFB which has been transferred to the navy. All 6 anti-shipping regiments equipped with A-19Bs have been transferred to the navy (though will continue to be based at HCSAF bases except for the squadron at Ailier North AFB) from the HCSAF as have three transport and communiations regiments.

Admiral Alias, the new head of the HCS Navy (HCSN), said that all plans were proceeding well and the first full fleet deployment was still on course for 2110. The first HCSN fleet will be based in the northern ocean that has seen much pirate and rebel activity over the last decade. Alias said that operations against the pirates would begin in the new year.

HCS Intel : Future HCSAF Airpower

This time in Dr Forbidden's HCS Intelligence Reports he looks at the future of HCS air power.

The HCSAF was neglected for a long time but last year finally got a big budget increase and it will continue to get new investment for the next few years. The HCSAF has been able to afford new versions of some of it's key aircraft like the A-84 but what future shapes will we see ?

The HCSAF, like other arms of the HCS, has been rationalising it's unwieldly mix of types over the last few years. It has settled on a core of a few proven types and is likely to continue development of these. A prime example is the COIN fleet. Once the HCSAF had about 5 different types, many modified suicide planes. Now the withdrawal of these inadequate types is well advanced and the HCSAF has settled on a fleet of around 3500 A-85 Brownings. The HCSAF has just announced that the last 500 A-22 Boxers (modified suicide planes) will be withdrawn by 2109, being replaced by new build A-85Ns. 400 of the oldest A-85s will also be replaced by this new varient.

The A-85N has a new wing with 2 extra hardpoints (bringing it up to 8) and the wing is stronger to allow a heavier weaponload. The engine has also been uprated. The fuselage has had a 10cm plug to allow for a larger fuel tank. Avionics have been upgraded too. Of course several hundred A-85s are currently being updated to the covert strike NA-85Q standard.

The big mystery with the HCSAF is the F-46 and what exactly it is. Some say its an air-superiority fighter others that its a ground attack aircraft. It looks like the latter is going to turn out as correct. Current intelligence points to the F-46 being an attack optimised F-45. To replace the pathetic F-42 interceptor the HCSAF are looking at an upgraded F-45. The F-45C will have a longer range and better radar for BVR intercepts.

One of the key parts of the early HCSAF was the A-20 bomber. A crude but effective bombtruck that gave the DDS a lot of trouble. Since the withdrawal of the A-20 however the HCSAF have lacked such a type. Finally it looks like there could be a replacement, the XB-86 project is said to be a supersonic bomber based on the C-486 transonic transport. The B-86 will be able to deploy standoff weapons and dumb bombs in low-intensity operations (i.e. dropping tons of TNT on rebellious peasants). The B-86 could enter service early in the next decade.

Character of the week : Truman

Truman is the deputy to Sea Urchin. After several years of generally mediocre performance Truman has finally blossomed as someone almost totally useless instead of utterly useless. With a lot of hard work and training he may achieve his ambition and become slightly useless. A key to his transformation has been the realisation is that he is not the worst. He has now Rubick Cube Warrior to victimise. RCW is a moron of the lowest order so Truman can now feel superior.

When Sea Urchin was injured Truman took over the running of the fleet. So far its still intact amazingly. Truman is a robot, his creation shrouded in mystery (probably due to shame). Its thought that a Sinclair Spectrum is used as his CPU though this may be a malicious rumour.

Osprey publish book on the DDS!

Finally Osprey have produced a book on real interesting weapons and not 1950s RAF ambulances (a topic only of interest to weirdos like the Book Barons)! The book (volume 97410 of the New Vanguard series) details DDS heavy cruisers like the Pulsar, Quasar and Kenora and will be published in early 2107.

Sea Urchin update

Sea Urchin has been moved off life support but remains in intensive care after he was badly injured in a battle with the Zones. He was shot in the chest by an armour piercing missile, luckily his battle suit managed to prevent most of the damage otherwise Sea Urchin would have been blown in half. "It'd be Rollerball all over again!" a DDS spokesman commented.

The Mad Medic said Sea Urchin was now stable and should be fine but recovery would take a long time.

DDS secure order for warships

The Sub-Eritran society of Molab, beyond Woloron 12, has placed an order for DDS warships and equipment that could be worth over 4 billion zarks. The order is for 5 Pentekonter-E, an export version of the Pentekonter OPV and 2 Isometric-E, a ship based on the Isometric platform though less powerful than in DDS service. The Molab are also interested in 2 Extender oilers and up to 12 Feeder shuttles.

As part of the deal the DDS will also build for the Molab maintenance and mooring points at 2 locations in the Molab system. The Molab's existing 2 ships, ex-Tarbotian Yeoman II frigates will receive refurbishment and minor updates to become training/reserve ships when the Isometrics are delivered.

One problem with the deal though is that DDS shipyards are already at maximum capacity fulfilling DDS orders. The DDS said they will build a dedicated new line at Rathun's World to build export Pentekonters and Isometrics. Deliveries should begin of the Extenders in 2108 and the other ships from 2109. Construction of the orbital facilties and training of crews will begin next summer.

DDS to improve armament of Terran Sea with TSTP

The DDS are to update all Terran Sea frigates with the Terran Sea Tactical Pod (TSTP). It was originally just going to be part of the Terran Sea-C sub-varient but funding has now been found to improve all existing Terran Seas too. The TSTP replaces the Z-cannon with an integrated weapons pod that includes an improved Z-cannon, a new missile launcher, 2 CIWS and some EW equipment. The missile launcher is the new type that will equip the next generation of DDS ships including the Quasar ILU and Panther. Because of less advanced fire control systems Terran Sea TSTP will only be able to fire 4 missiles at any one time and not 8 which is the launcher's limit.

The Terran Sea's existing belly mounted launcher will be replaced with the new small launcher which is intended for smaller ships and auxiliary armament. This will (with some storage in the TSTP itself) increase Terran Sea missile storage from 64 to 80. The first TSTP will be fitted to a ship later this month.

Sea Urchin badly injured in Zone attack

Commander Sea Urchin has been seriously during a battle against the Zones. Quasar class ship 1211 Positron was also badly damaged in the battle with a Zone cruiser. The battle occurred after Sea Urchin had secured a damaged Tarbotian Kenora cruiser of the Type H+ standard (the latest). The ship was found dead in DDS space after an accident in the ship's engine room that had wiped out the crew in a mass dose of lethal radiation. Although the ship was left badly damaged many systems were left intact and its hoped the ship's technology can be used to update the Remedian's Kenora.

However the Zones were also after the ship and followed Sea Urchin's ship. They launched an attack on the DDS and employed a new weapon that almost destroyed the Quasar. The weapon is a crude multi-phase missile with a huge warhead. Sea Urchin was injured during a firefight with Zone soldiers and required an emergency operation after being shot with an armour piercing missile.

The Kenora wreck has been secured by the DDS and Sea Urchin sent to a hospital on Rathun's World.

Characters of the week : Hans & Otto

Whats your greatest nightmare? Could it is gay reptiles in SS uniform? Say hello to Hans & Otto of the Dino SS. Two jung herrs who brutally crack down on Dino rights in the name of crushing freedom? But ah you say. Isn't the SS supposed to be protecting the people not oppressing them? Ha ha ha the nativity of youth...

They are normal SS soldiers, who we have followed a few times on operations which they perform in typically sardonic SS manner. Hans is an uber-gay SS soldier with a liking for very tight white shorts. He finds SS uniform good for pulling though Otto mournfully comments that der uniform has der opposite effect on der vimmin.

HCS Intel : Recent developments in HCS AFVs

Dr Forbidden here, apologies for missing 2 months HCS Intel reports, as you can appreciate sometimes i am so busy here at DDS Research...

It would not be inaccurate though slightly misleading to say that since the end of the Clone Wars HCS AFV development has stagnated. Its true there have been no new major types developed since the ill-faited T-92 but there has been a period of down-sizing and standardisation which was quite frankly desperately needed to clean up the mess of types operated and the logistic and engineering nightmares that caused.

The HCS Tank arm have seen the bulk of standardisation. The intriguing twin-hull T-105 was withdrawn, all T-88s below the T-88P2C mark withdawn (T-88P2 is the new name for the T-88++). Production of the T-91, the turretless replacement for the T-89 was ended after just 120 built and these have been withdrawn and put into storage. The T-92, the intended replacement for the T-88, was cancelled before production began despite excellent performance.

The HCS Tank arm is well and truly based on the T-89 now. Instead of replacing it the HCS have just continued to develop it using technology from the T-91 and T-92 projects. The HCS have just started to introduce the T-89E series, the biggest update since the end of the war. This new version is fairly similar to the T-89C in terms of hardware but has a totally new electronics and sensor suite. The HCS are trying to move into the info-rich technologically advanced age and move away from the old days of mass low-tech forces.

The secondary line T-55Z continues in service and production of course for terrorising peasants and the like. The HCS did toy with producing a copy of the T-62 instead but ended production after a few dozen. It was more expensive to build but just as massively obsolete so why bother?

Now we move onto IFVs, of course the iconic TRV-5 Tapir reigns supreme even though it was only intended as a reconnaissance vehicle (hence the designation) and is too small to carry that many troops. However it's survivability and reliability obviously scored well especially as it's contemporary, the TCV-7 Anteater has an unfortunate habit of exploding rather easily. Virtually all Anteaters have now been withdrawn no doubt to the relief of HCS soldiers.

The Tapir is now up to the F series and like the T-89E has had a number of improvements to systems in order for it to work in the info-war. The Tapir-F introduces fully synthetic driving views in order to delete the frontal armour weakness caused by a visor and to give the driver an enhanced full-spectrum driving view with overlayed tactical information relayed in real-time. Its rumoured the T-89E also has such a system though is unconfirmed at the moment.

The HCS have also designed a lighter wheeled version of the Tapir, the WCV-10 White Tapir to finally replace the hotch potch of internal security types used by the HCS. There are even a few dozen copies of the BTR-80 copy, the BTR-85 still in existance! The HCS plan to build 2000 White Tapirs to replace the BTR-85 and other assorted rubbish.

One area of the HCS thats firmly rooted in obselescence is the artillery arm. The ATC-107C still is the main self-propelled artillery gun even though it was designed 30 years ago as a stop gap! Much HCS artillery is still towed and desperately needs to be withdrawn. And to replace these ancient systems they are going to build... more ATC-107s!

The ATC-107G is a redesign though and finally has the communications and computer technology in order for the artillery to operate in the 22nd century and not the 20th.

So there is the HCS in 2106, no new types but plenty of work still going on and finally a coherant policy on procurement.

HCS announce details of OPV

The HCS Space Fleet (or rather fleets) have published some details of their forthcoming patrol boat the HCS OPV 08 Project. The ship will be similar to the DDS Pentekonter in being a small low-powered ship optimised for policing and local patrol duties. However the ship will also be suitable for expansion. Its thought that at a later stage an updated version will be built to begin replacing the large Kalahati Tuul fleet.

To begin with though the design is modest. It will have a crew of just 8, though able to take a detachment of up to 30 space marines. Top speed will be 500c. The HCS said they would give more details in the new year including the name. Though Shark, the name of the previous project for a patrol boat is thought to be the front runner.