Character of the week : Action Painting

Action Painting is the DDS Director Of Operations and thus one of the two deputies of Lord Rotarios (hail to his polished helmet!) Action Painting has been a DDS regular for a long time now but never stood out much. He was a competant if unspectacular performer who rose to DDS City Commander in The Shiner's regime.

As such he was ideally placed when he and Vodaphone created The Hoods. As he was in charge of GHQ Security he was able to make sure the Hoods could make their attacks without being detected by CCTV and guards. Now in the glorious New DDS Action Painting oversees all DDS operations. He has a more pragmatic approach than Vodaphone's zeal but none the less is 110% loyal to the New DDS!

Fleet update (Pentekonter enters trials)

After a few last minute glitches the first of the Pentekonter class patrol boats 3501 Thucydides has entered trials. The ship is expected to be available for entry into service around the end of next january. Thucydides will not enter the patrol pool until the second ship in the class 3502 Alcibiades is completed and passed trials. Being the first ship of a new type Thucydides will underdo a Type Certification process and operational conversion. The DDS hope to have at least 6 ships operational by the summer of 2106.

The final two Terran Sea Block 1 ships 3207 North Sea and 3208 Barents Sea have completed their proving trials and have entered service, 3207 has been allocated to the patrol pool and 3208 has joined the 3rd Fleet.The first Block 2 ship 3209 Yellow Sea is now beginning trials, 3210 South China Sea and 3211 Java Sea will start trials before the end of the year.

Also entering trials is the first of the Marconi class EW ships. This is the third class based on the Standard Utility Platform (SUP). The DDS are hoping the ship can enter service before the end of the year though because of some teething problems with the EW/ECM equipment this might be delayed into early 2106. 7351 Marconi is desperately needed, both of the aging Moscow class EW ships are currently out of service with engine problems.

The DDS have announced that they plan to produce 7 SUP ships next year, two will be Provider transports, 2 Extender oilers and 3 Marconi.

Akiwati addresses the empire

Ayatollah Akiwati, speaking from an unspecified location, made a live address across the empire on all TV channels and radio. It was the first instance in the Benito rebellion being officially acknowledged. The speech was as follows :

"Fellow believers in Oojok! Many of you know of a grave danger that hangs over us now, the Anti-Oojok is threatening order and calm and wants to bring anarchy and pain. Benito is the Anti-Oojok and is an evil which must be destroyed. Do not be taken in by his forked tongue. He promises you many things but he will not deliver. He only wants power so he can empty your pockets and dishonour your daughters.

"Benito has caused an uprising on Austini 55 and Woloron 12. He has fooled good clones into becoming infidels and to turn on their fellow clone. They are not yet beyond redemption. Only in Oojok can you be a true clone. I say to the infidels : turn back to the light! Shun Benito and the words of Sin, the barbarism of the Anti-Oojok!

"Only in Oojok can you be truly happy. Only in Oojok can you go to Clone Heaven. Benito will only lead you to the Ten Hells Of Doom. And that is uncool."

Character of the week : Dr Forbidden

Dr Forbidden is the Head of DDS Research and as the War On Unprofessionalism gets ever more technical his importance has increased within the DDS. Dr Forbidden has been in the DDS for a number of years now but only recently has risen to the head of DDS Research. He is a very intelligent man with 2 PhDs and an MBA from Wolverhampton University.

But more than his intelligence Forbidden has a vision, and thats why he has been given so much budget and power. His vision is for a totally interconnected DDS with communications in real-time between every component down to the lowliest technician. A DDS that acts as one with a huge knowledgebase. He is also totally loyal to the New DDS project and believes that friendship and enjoyment are obsolete and should be replaced by endless toil and study. Joy!

Jimmy stable after operation

Emperor Jimmy is said to be stable after a 6 hour operation to remove the bullet from his lower brain after the assassination attempt. Chief Medical Officer Spikeson conducted the operation and used the new technique of targetted teleportation to remove the bullet using a teleporter without having to do any potentially damaging surgery. A government spokesdino said that the doctors were happy with Jimmy's progress but it was too early to say if there would be any permanent damage.

Meanwhile the investigation into the assassin is continuing said Senator El Diablo to reporters.

How the clones are reporting the Benito crisis

With the Benito rebellion escalating LVN has been taking a look at how the official HCS media has been covering the story, though any coverage was nil until a few weeks ago. The authorities reaction to Benito's uprising was to place a media blackout on the story, however 1000s of bloggers took over and despite the best efforts of the RP continue to report the story to an eager audience.

The recent space battle was not reported in the media at all, though the media did say that space forces loyal to Benito had fled when challenged by Loyalist HCS. Austini 55 has been lost to Benito yet according to the media there is a "minor challenge to authority" at best. The status of The Friar is also interesting. We now understand that he has defected to Benito's camp, but according to the official RP website he has been taken "ill" and is "on leave". One newspaper did report he had been in a "motor accident".

RP control over the media is incredibly tight though the odd story does slip through, in the minor newspaper the Micom Express there was a small report referring to the "loss of Austini 55 to rebels". The newspaper was mysteriously shut down after a fire at it's offices the next day...

Disaster for HCS as Benito wins first space battle

According to reports by the Dino Information Agency and the DDS the battle between the fleets of Benito and Loyalist HCS was a resounding victory for the rebels. Between 30-36 (this varies according to who is reporting) Loyalist ships engaged the 22 strong Benito fleet near Woloron 12. After some bitter fighting the Benito fleet was pushed back into Woloron 12 orbit and seemed to have lost.

What happened next is somewhat vague, a blog on Aquaworld said that the Friar changed sides and took control of the RP flagship which then decimated the Loyalist fleet in a surprise attack. This blog was quickly taken down by the clone authorities (and the author has had his ass handed to him we understand). This could be what has happened as the RP website (www.religious-police.hcs.gov.cw) has been suddenly taken down for "maintenance".

The Dino News is reporting that only 1 Loyalist ship managed to escape, all the others including 3 Soulaki battlecruisers were destroyed. Benito's fleet also suffered near 50% losses.

A military setback of this magnitiude could well be the tipping point that turns Benito from an annoyance into the provinces into the biggest threat to Oojok's authority for years.

Dr Forbidden on Archeans and Zs

Dr Forbidden was kind enough to grant us a short interview before he travelled to a conference on ultra-hard physics on Solaris.

Latest Victory News : Dr Forbidden, it is rumoured the Archean class long range frigate may be cancelled after all, can you confirm or deny this?

Dr Forbidden : No decision has yet been made but we are indeed reviewing the requirement for it. Its possible modified Isometrics could do the job just as well, at a considerable cost saving of course. However we have to weigh up the various pros and cons before we decide.

LVN : It is true you have a powerful new varient of the Z cannon lined up for the Panther?

Dr F : We are always looking on improving our weapons, the Z cannon is an integral part of the DDS armoury. One problem is that shielding advances has negated some of the potency of the Z lately but we are looking at advanced phasing technologies to give it an edge again.

LVN : How is the DDS' research into distributed networking and crewing going on?

Dr F : Pretty well! Construction of the distributed crewing centre on Solaris is going well and the lasernet upgrades should start soon. We hope that by 2110 40% of all space crews are actually based on shore using real-time data links and advanced communication technologies to act just as effectively as if they were present on board the ship.

LVN : Which communication technologies are these?

Dr F : Holographic projection and virtual reality immersion. This will help remote crewmen feel as if they are really onboard their ships and the use of holographic projection can assist in interaction with crewmen who are present aboard. We will be testing these technologies soon aboard the Isometric.

LVN : Thank you very much Dr F!

Character of the week : El Diablo

Former Emperor El Diablo remains one of the top lights in the Dino Empire. The current Home Secretary has been in the Inner Circle for some time now. El Diablo was unexpectently promoted to Emperor by Ronald after the great man had been seriously injured in the war against the Tarbotians. However it was far too soon for El Diablo and he was soon usurped by One-Horn.

After Ronald returned and slew One-Horn El Diablo was restored to the army yet for a long time was in disgrace. Finally he came back into favour and was put in charge of special projects by Ronald. When Jimmy became the Co-Emperor El Diablo took over as Home Secretary. El Diablo is a lot more mature now and a great leader with skill and intelligence. Some wonder if he might yet become Emperor again one day.

Jimmy : Gibson released

The Dino News is reporting that Deputy SS Commander Gibson has been released without charge. He had been arrested as part of the investigation into the attempted assassination of Emperor Jimmy but was released yesterday after El Diablo was satisfied he had not switched off the anti-teleport field that had allowed the would-be assassin to enter the conference centre. El Diablo told reporters he was following up some promising leads but would not expand on this.

Jimmy is serious but comfortable in the Central Army Hospital, a spokesdino said that the Emperor would have another operation soon.

UV92 : Billions Of Crimes

Internal rebellions and conspiracies take centre stage in the latest DDS book. In Prawn Sacrifice Lakes plots to assassinate Emperor Jimmy. Following from that in Regicidal Tendancies we see Lakes plans come to fruition, can the Emperor survive? In Business Is Business the HCS Loyalist and Benito Rebel fleets finally come to blows in a battle that may seal the fate of the HCS. El Diablo begins the investigation behind the Jimmy attack in Bashing The Bishops, does the trail lead to Gibson... or Lakes? Finally in Badgirl Rotarios decides the DDS needs a spiritial renewal.

The book is available from all criminals and brothels across the galaxy. The final two books of the year UV93 : Sexual Fantasy Of The Chief Executive and UV94 : The Way Of The Windscorpion will be released in december. The first book of 2006, UV95 : Vile Thrills coming early in the new year.

DDS Fleet update (Archean class)

The 3400 class long range frigate will not be entering service until well into the year after next but the DDS have decided to change it's name again, first it was Battle then River... now the class has been named the Archean class. The ships will be named after geological time periods on Terra. Another change is that the order for the fleet has been increased to 15.

3501 Thucydides, the lead ship of the Pentekonter patrol ship class, is ahead of schedule and may enter trials next week. The Isometric Intermediate Update 1 programme, which was suspended during the Terran Sea EMS problem has resumed. Only 7 ships remain to be updated. 3117 Holocene, which was badly damaged during the battle against the Tarbotians, is expected to return to service in january.

Loyalist and Rebel HCS fleets square up

The Daily Dino is reporting a quote from the Dino External Intelligence Agency that two HCS fleets are facing each other near Woloron 12. These are the rebel HCS fleet of Benito, who has begun an uprising on Austini 55 and Woloron 12 and the 3rd Space Fleet of the HCS, sent by Oojok to crush the uprising. As yet neither fleet is willing to show it's hand and we understand the two fleets have been facing off for 2 days. More news as we get it.

Character of the week : Admiral Anderson

Look up incompetant buffoon in the Clonese dictionary and it will probably say Admiral Anderson, the former head of the HCS Navy was notable only for foul ups. Including one incident where his orders caused an entire task force to get beached on sand banks. Anderson fell out of favour when the HCS Navy was disbanded and joined the rebel faction of Xanadu, however his lack of ability soon saw him kicked out.

Anderson returned to the HCS where he begged to be returned to service, finally Captain Clone have him a staff role at GHQ, counting paperclips and the like.

Jimmy attack : Gibson arrested

Following the attack on Jimmy which has left him critically ill a special Dino task force has been set up under the command of Senator El Diablo. Following some investigations SS-Legate Gibson, the deputy head of the SS, was arrested. He had been the security officer for the speaking engagement where Jimmy was attacked. Telemetry analysis indicated that the anti-teleport field in place over the conference centre was switched off seconds before the attack allowing the sniper to teleport into an air vent overlooking the podium.

As security officer only Gibson had the means to switch off the field, though he has protested his innocence. Ronald has reduced the alert status to level 2. He told reporters that Jimmy would undergo another operation in a few days once he was strong enough, the bullet is thought to be still inside him, close to the brain.

Jimmy shot during speech

Emperor Jimmy has been shot by a sniper at a speech to the 3rd Legion. The incident occured earlier today at a conference centre in southern Dino-Town. The sniper is thought to have teleported into a ventilation shaft near to the podium and shot Jimmy at point blank range through the shaft grill before teleporting out again.

The Dino authorities are refusing to comment on the status of Jimmy, one newspaper has said he has been killed though some others are saying he is critically ill. Ronald was also present at the venue but was not shot at. The Dinos have begun a level 1 security alert across the empire. More news as we get it.

Update@22:27 : Emperor Ronald made an appearance on Dino TV in which he deplored the cowardly sniper. He said that Jimmy was seriously injured but the doctors were hopeful he would survive. A massive dinohunt has begun across Dino-Land with the entire army and SS mobilised.

Update@09:11 (Sunday) : The Dinos have reported that Emperor Jimmy is in a serious but stable condition following a 6 hour operation.