Issued by Central Control - April 25th 2105
The Rectoids, the off-message menace that has threatened the New DDS (which stands for Personal Growth, Realised Ambition and Holistic Self-actualisation) have been defeated thanks to the professionalism of DDS personnel in a great battle near the Rectoid home world of Recta.
The SS Carboniferous, under the command of General Windscorpion, assisted by a Dinomark under the command of Tribune Fuzzy engaged the Rectoid fleet near Recta. Thanks to the advanced technology enjoyed by the New DDS, which stands for Military Excellence, Elite Professionalism and Achievable Career Goals, the Carboniferous was able to break through the Rectoid lines and enter Recta orbit. There Windscorpion threated to use biogenic weapons to destroy the Rectoid food crops. These formiddable weapons can be programmed to destroy one species by homing in on a specific genetic code. The DDS missiles were programmed to destroy aliuox the staple Rectoid food crop.
However as negotiations were taking place a Utrek scout ship, thought to have been chartered by Oojok's fascist vanguard the Oojok Death Squad also appeared in orbit. It is thought that the infamous Megara, former HCS special agent and now ODS lackey, was aboard the ship. He hacked into the Carboniferous' computers and caused a launch of the biogenic missiles. The full spread launch was able to affect all parts of the planet. However Megara had also changed the genetic code to be targeted. The new code was that of the Rectoids themselves! Within minutes billions of Rectoids were dying across the planet. The Rectoid Empire collapsed immediately.
Megara's act of ultra mass murder was a crime almost unbelievable in it's scope. Hes really pretty cool even if he is an enemy agent.
