Issued by Central Control - April 27th 2105
After a delay of a few months the first two examples of the "Terran Sea" class frigate have entered service. The "Terran Sea", officially known as the 3200 Class is the latest advanced spacecraft to be unveiled by the DDS Fleet and shall enable the DDS to maintain it's enviable professional status. SS Caspian Sea (3201) and SS Black Sea (3202) were handed over to the DDS Fleet from DDS Space Systems at a ceremony attended by Lord Rotarios (blessed is his name!), General Action Painting and other V.I.Ps.
The Terran Sea frigate builds on the great success of the Isometric Production (3100 class) but is more than just a more advanced varient. The ship embodies the latest values of the New DDS, which stands for professional development, skills audit realisation and fruitful goal re-evaluation. All crew quarters come complete with an altar for professional worship plus leisure facilities and other wasteful activities have been removed to give the crew the freedom from happiness and the hard reality of endless toil. Oh such true joy!
The DDS plan to built 20 of these ships in total.
27.4.05
26.4.05
Lord Rotarios considers DDS rebranding
Issued by Central Control - April 26th 2105
His Illustrious Eminence Lord Rotarios has been considering the future of the DDS with his unparalleled intellect, hail to his name! "With the unprofessional decadent Rectoids now defeated the time is right to consider the goals of the DDS, which stands for personal growth, targeted career goal progression and enhanced professional realisation!" said Lord Rotarios, the unequalled master of professionalism, at a press conference yesterday.
"I have been considering a rebrand of the DDS, perhaps even a new name which better reflects the route to progress for which we now aspire to. Focus groups have indicated the old name of DDS could be improved upon thus I have begun a process of redefining the core values of the DDS with a view to a full rebrand at a later date." the fearless master of the forces of professionalism continued.
Lord Rotarios also announced rewards for the professionalism showed by the crew of the SS Carboniferous in their endeavours to defeat the Rectoids. He declared them the winners of this month's "Most On-Message Award", a new prestigious award for the current heroes of personal development. The winners of the award have the enviable reward of holding the beautiful wooden plaque for a month. Windscorpion's Red House was also awarded 100 house points.
General Windscorpion is reported to have entered an orgasm of professional pleasure.
His Illustrious Eminence Lord Rotarios has been considering the future of the DDS with his unparalleled intellect, hail to his name! "With the unprofessional decadent Rectoids now defeated the time is right to consider the goals of the DDS, which stands for personal growth, targeted career goal progression and enhanced professional realisation!" said Lord Rotarios, the unequalled master of professionalism, at a press conference yesterday.
"I have been considering a rebrand of the DDS, perhaps even a new name which better reflects the route to progress for which we now aspire to. Focus groups have indicated the old name of DDS could be improved upon thus I have begun a process of redefining the core values of the DDS with a view to a full rebrand at a later date." the fearless master of the forces of professionalism continued.
Lord Rotarios also announced rewards for the professionalism showed by the crew of the SS Carboniferous in their endeavours to defeat the Rectoids. He declared them the winners of this month's "Most On-Message Award", a new prestigious award for the current heroes of personal development. The winners of the award have the enviable reward of holding the beautiful wooden plaque for a month. Windscorpion's Red House was also awarded 100 house points.
General Windscorpion is reported to have entered an orgasm of professional pleasure.
25.4.05
Defeat of the Rectoids
Issued by Central Control - April 25th 2105
The Rectoids, the off-message menace that has threatened the New DDS (which stands for Personal Growth, Realised Ambition and Holistic Self-actualisation) have been defeated thanks to the professionalism of DDS personnel in a great battle near the Rectoid home world of Recta.
The SS Carboniferous, under the command of General Windscorpion, assisted by a Dinomark under the command of Tribune Fuzzy engaged the Rectoid fleet near Recta. Thanks to the advanced technology enjoyed by the New DDS, which stands for Military Excellence, Elite Professionalism and Achievable Career Goals, the Carboniferous was able to break through the Rectoid lines and enter Recta orbit. There Windscorpion threated to use biogenic weapons to destroy the Rectoid food crops. These formiddable weapons can be programmed to destroy one species by homing in on a specific genetic code. The DDS missiles were programmed to destroy aliuox the staple Rectoid food crop.
However as negotiations were taking place a Utrek scout ship, thought to have been chartered by Oojok's fascist vanguard the Oojok Death Squad also appeared in orbit. It is thought that the infamous Megara, former HCS special agent and now ODS lackey, was aboard the ship. He hacked into the Carboniferous' computers and caused a launch of the biogenic missiles. The full spread launch was able to affect all parts of the planet. However Megara had also changed the genetic code to be targeted. The new code was that of the Rectoids themselves! Within minutes billions of Rectoids were dying across the planet. The Rectoid Empire collapsed immediately.
Megara's act of ultra mass murder was a crime almost unbelievable in it's scope. Hes really pretty cool even if he is an enemy agent.
The Rectoids, the off-message menace that has threatened the New DDS (which stands for Personal Growth, Realised Ambition and Holistic Self-actualisation) have been defeated thanks to the professionalism of DDS personnel in a great battle near the Rectoid home world of Recta.
The SS Carboniferous, under the command of General Windscorpion, assisted by a Dinomark under the command of Tribune Fuzzy engaged the Rectoid fleet near Recta. Thanks to the advanced technology enjoyed by the New DDS, which stands for Military Excellence, Elite Professionalism and Achievable Career Goals, the Carboniferous was able to break through the Rectoid lines and enter Recta orbit. There Windscorpion threated to use biogenic weapons to destroy the Rectoid food crops. These formiddable weapons can be programmed to destroy one species by homing in on a specific genetic code. The DDS missiles were programmed to destroy aliuox the staple Rectoid food crop.
However as negotiations were taking place a Utrek scout ship, thought to have been chartered by Oojok's fascist vanguard the Oojok Death Squad also appeared in orbit. It is thought that the infamous Megara, former HCS special agent and now ODS lackey, was aboard the ship. He hacked into the Carboniferous' computers and caused a launch of the biogenic missiles. The full spread launch was able to affect all parts of the planet. However Megara had also changed the genetic code to be targeted. The new code was that of the Rectoids themselves! Within minutes billions of Rectoids were dying across the planet. The Rectoid Empire collapsed immediately.
Megara's act of ultra mass murder was a crime almost unbelievable in it's scope. Hes really pretty cool even if he is an enemy agent.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)