DDS happy with Pentekonter / New AE

The DDS have conducted a review of the Pentekonter patrol vessel (OPV) now it has spent it's first few months in service. The DDS is largely happy with the ship which has had fewer teething troubles than is usual for a brand new type. Starting with the 11th (and this half-way point of the class) ship 3511 Euripides the Pentekonter will be updated to Mod B standard which will have improved sensors and a slightly larger ion cannon. There will also be a software update for the entire fleet.

The DDS has decided to build 2 specialist ammunition transports (AE). These will be based on the Provider AK but will have improved security and hazardous material handling equipment, as well as better shielding. They will be used to ferry supplies of the highly strategic transphasic missile.

The ANALyst : What is the DDS?

This time Dr Carlos Judas Vincentos OBE goes intellectual and muses on what exactly the DDS is.

What is the DDS? It might seem a strange question and even an easy question to answer. But i don't mean the UNP Security Force, i mean what is the DDS really? The DDS is everything and anything, the DDS is all around us. Confused? Well obviously you do not have as high an IQ as myself so I will explain.

The DDS is a way of life, an attitude. Its a spirit that drives like minded young men on. Cheating on your girlfriend is DDS (especially if its cheating on her with a guy), getting the highest mark in class is DDS, cheating to get the highest mark is very DDS. Cheating anyway just for the Hell of it is Uber DDS. The DDS is violence, attitude, single-mindedness and more violence. The DDS is a code, a recipe for life. The DDS is Hardcore.

So even if you cannot join the DDS you can still be DDS. Understand? No you probably don't, as I am more intelligent. Thats so DDS.

Open Architecture 2.0 to make its debut

Open Architecture (OA) is one of the key new technologies of the DDS. A preliminary version made it's debut with the Terran Sea Block 2 frigate but the full version OA 2.0 will soon be introduced on the Block 3 and will also appear on the Velocity VS, Panther and Quasar ILU. So what is it?

OA 2.0 is a revolution in spaceship design. It is a plug & play architecture for ship equipment using the wireless control now in place. With OA 2.0 equipment can be replaced very easily by simply bringing the new equipment on board and changing the control link to it. The replaced equipment does not even have to be removed. All the changes are done automatically. Equipment is also automatically monitored, maintained and updated.

Another part of OA 2.0 is remote processing. Many ship systems can transmit data to another ship or a ground station for processing and then receive back the processed data. In tests ships have had certain systems switched off without the crew realising the processing was now being done elsewhere. In a combat situation this could be invaluable in allowing ships to keep operating even if systems have been damaged.

All OA 2.0 ships will also transmit a log of telemetry and control data to centralised DDS databases. This will allow the DDS to analyse the mass of data and potentially look for problems before they reach a stage they can be detected by other means and also track trends to allow improvment of DDS systems.

Dr Forbidden discusses Open Architecture

Conspiracy magazine accuses Ronald of massacre

A conspiracy magazine in Dino Land has caused a stir by accusing that Ronald ordered the massacre of a native tribe over 40 years ago. The magazine, Conspiracy Nation, says the tribe was massacred early in Ronald's reign as Emperor. Elements of the Black Dragon Martyrs Brigade, the most notorious unit in the SS, are said to have carried out the massacre and were under the direct command of Ronald. Butchering thousands of men, women and children. The tribe was utterly wiped out and then removed from all official records so that now no one even knows they exist.

The magazine also said that nearly all of the SS men who took part in the massacre are now dead, many dying in mysterious circumstances. The magazine says that one survivor came forward and gave the wherabouts of a mass grave, which is where the killed tribesdinos were buried.

No one from the Dino government was available for comment. Ronald is currently on the northern frontier world of Pulsin for the funeral of an old colleague.

DDS announce details of LCX

The DDS have announced some details of their future Light Cruiser, the LCX. The class will be named Pangaea class (interestingly this was the final class name of the cancelled Isometric III frigate class - hopefully not a bad omen!) The DDS say that the primary role of the Pangaea will be science and general fleet duties. It will also be able to perform combat and patrol missions successfully. The DDS say the Pangaea will be a true multi-role design.

When asked if the LCX was an admission that the DDS had built too many single-mission ships Director Of Operations Action Painting replied, "Our fleet has been designed and built due to need. We needed combat optimised ships to protect the DDS and patrol optimised ships for DDS patrol and revenue generating patrols. Now we have enough ships either built or ordered for both missions we at last have the luxury of being able to procure a multi-role hull. The Pangaea class will be a great asset and will be able to fill in any gaps in the DDS capability."

Character Of The Week : Torus

(Back for a new season is our weekly look at some of the top names in the DDS game)

Torus is one of the so-called "Next Generation". A group of young captains identified by Windscorpion as being the blood that will take the DDS forward in the next decade. However Torus has been around for awhile. A childhood accident took his voicebox away so he grew up unable to speak. After he joined the DDS Dr Forbidden developed a synthetic voicebox that translates his thoughts into speech. He is even able to sing much to everyone's misery.

Torus is a good captain who has already shown a lot of initiative in combat situations. In fact in fleet engagements Windy has trusted Torus with one of the fleet's flanks, a vitally important position that can make or break a victory. His years of being unable to speak has made Torus rather introspective though and often he shuns others' company.

Torus has a scientist background, having a degree in astro-physics. Its thought he has asked to be head of the forthcoming DDS' science fleet.

Interview with the Windscorpion!

DDS hardcore icon Windscorpion kindly granted Latest Victory News an interview...

Latest Victory News : Windscorpion, what do you think of the latest fleet developments?

Windscorpion : Its ass.

LVN : Er, in what way?

WS : Too much shit like hospital ships and transports and not enought super battle cruisers.

LVN : Well i suppose the fleet needs to be balanced...

WS : No its gay! We should be building many more battlecruisers and D-X so i can conquer the galaxy and de-hetrosexualise it!

LVN : Er thats against DDS policy...

WS : I am a wanted man you know?

LVN : Wanted for what?

WS : Wanted for oppression.

LVN : Are you drunk sir?

WS : Hell yeah. Anyway time to go, i may come and see you later tonight... young man.

Hospital ships to be joint DDS/UNP owned / Other news

The DDS have given some more details on their planned hospital/medical ships. The ships will be jointly owned by the DDS and UNP and the UNP will also share the cost in constructing the two ships. The ships will be operated by fully DDS crews however. An outbreak of plague on Saeou a few years ago showed the need for such a ship. In the enquiry afterwards the UNP said they could have done with a hospital ship to be sent to Saeou with quarantine facilities and extensive labs.

A new Terran Sea class frigate has been named and entered service. 3213 Celebes Sea has joined the fleet pool.

The DDS have announced their STUP (StarSystem Training Update Programme) to keep their training fleet of the venerable frigates in service for at least another 10 years. STUP will involve minor refurbishment and improved communications arrays for FIDO training. The internal layout will also be changed to allow classrooms and increased bunk space. The STUP replaces an earlier announced programme and will begin later this year.

Two Coril shuttles have been transferred to the Remedian fleet. The DDS are expected to modify a civilian design for it's next generation shuttle craft, the Feeder class. Details will be given later this year.

Annual CenFac vs OpSys cricket match descends into chaos... again

The annual cricket match between a Central Facility (CenFac) XI and Operational System Staff (OpSys) XI took place today at the sports ground at GHQ. This year Windy was able to turn out for OpSys. Gripping his bat tight he gave the balls offered to him by young men a good hammering. He said this was just like last saturday night. He took no further part in the match, failing to return from the showers. From where the screams of young men could be heard, for some unknown reason.

OpSys made 109ao, Windy scoring 69. In reply CenFac cruised to a victory and scored 110-0. The fact Lord Rotarios has all of OpSys arrested apart from the bowlers was purely incidental. CenFac wicketkeeper Redjec once again suffered a heavy blow to the groin.

DDS announce medical ship / Other fleet news

The DDS have announced they will build 2 dedicated hospital/medical ships in 2108. The ships, based on the forthcoming Ambassador class (8300) VIP ship which is the latest design based on the SUP (Standard Utility Platform). The ships will have facilities for caring for up to 1000 patients along with extensive lab facilties. The ships will have a secondary general transport role.

When the Ambassador enters service the venerable Profit Motive VIP ship is likely to be sold. The UNP Presidental Flight is reported to be interested in it.

One more Extender class oiler has been ordered, this will allocated to the Remedian fleet. The Intruder landing ship (on lease from the HCS) had to deputise for a Pentekonter on the Solaris-Proxima patrol duty when the allocated ship 3505 Demostenes suffered an engine failure. The sight of a HCS designed warship patrolling the core DDS space understandably raised some eyebrows!

The Friar details the Clone Triumvirate

There was sensation on Cloneworld today as The Friar entered the Clone Parliament building flanked by HCS and EYE bodyguards. The Friar went up to the speaker's podium and announced details of the new Clone Empire. He said that himself, Captain Clone and Benito Clone would rule the empire as a Triumvirate. Captain Clone and Benito Clone would rule the western and eastern halves of the empire while Cloneworld was neutral territory under the control of The Friar.

He said that his two fellow Triumvirs had ended the civil war and would sign the official peace treaty on Cloneworld at a later date. He said all three Triumvirs would be holding a summit to discuss how the new Empire would grow. The Friar also confirmed that the Church Of Oojok was banned and all temples and churches would be demolished. All followers who continued to worship Oojok would be punished, all clerics would have to publically denounce Oojok or be executed. It has been noted that scores of clerics have been seen hanging from lampposts across the empire.

The Friar said that Oojok and Sleeze had accepted exile on Dino Land and they and their families had been banished from the Clone Empire "for evermore".

The ANALyst : The case for a Light Cruiser

Dr P von Vincent BTEC this week discusses the need for a Light Cruiser in the DDS fleet.

This week i would like to address the Light Cruiser programme (LCX) that later in the decade will join the fleet. Firstly though i have a comment to make on last week's column on Windscorpion @ 40. Some have asked if my views on Windy Mania steering clear of violent homosexuality is Windy's official policy? Actually it seems its not judging by his latest utterance.

Anyway the LCX. Is it needed? What is it going to do? The fleet is dominated by ships tailored to two specific roles : combat and patrol. The DDS lack a general purpose warship for roles that fall outside of those two roles. Such as science, surveying, calibration. Now of course you may ask why build an expensive large warship for roles that seem more suited to ageing frigates. Because the LCX will also be able to perform the combat and patrol roles. It will be able to plug either gap and thus will give the fleet a much higher degree of operational flexibility.

A maid-of-all-work then.

Windy calls for a harder Windy Massive!

Windscorpion gave a speech to a meeting of the Windy Massive (WM) and said they are slack. He urged the assembled young men to work much harder and build up their personal fitness and physical endurance for the punishment to come...

Windy unveiled Windy Calculus. He called it the rules and laws by which Windy Maniacs should live their lives.

The First Law Of WM : discipline x effort = enjoy

The Second Law Of WM : endurance / pain = satisfaction

Other laws would be unveiled later Windscorpion said. He also said that the official uniform of WM would be a skintight lycra body suit in shocking pink with a cutaway over the buttocks.

Blogged with Flock

Advanced Tarbotian ship spotted near Oscar

A DDS patrol has observed a previously unknown type of Tarbotian warship near Oscar. The ship was encountered after a freak neutrino cascade caused its cloak to fail. The DDS ship (as yet unnamed) had a brief skirmish with the ship before it recloaked. No damage to either ship has been reported.

The Tarbotian warship is thought to have been the replacement for the long-running Samara IV destroyer. No further details were given by the DDS.

Faction In Focus : Tarbot Federation

The Tarbot Federation is one of the most ancient factions in the known galaxy, a vast empire that stretches far beyond space that humanity has been to. The Tarbotians themselves come from the planet of Tarbot, a gaseous giant. The Tarbotians are called "spirit creatures" that cannot exist in the sort of atmospheres humanoids thrive in. To move beyond their homeworld the Tarbotians developed robot machines to travel in. In these robots they began to explore the galaxy. Exploration soon turned to conquest. Eranian is known to be the first planet conquered by the Tarbotians whose society has developed on military lines with a hard imperial edge.

Several hundred years ago the robot slaves of the Tarbotians, by now possessing artificial intelligence to take the load off their masters rebelled after being forced to take part in a massacre of a race known as the Mentorbi. The robots, known as Starbotians, left their masters behind and fled the empire. The Tarbotians built new robots (this time without AI!) and declared war on their former slaves. The Starbotians were no match for the imperial might of the Tarbotian Federation and fled into uncharted space... unfortunately for the Central Powers this was our area of space!

Eventually the Tarbotians followed their mortal enemies and began a long series of skirmishes with them. Finally the Central Powers were drawn into the conflict as the Tarbotians eyed the Local Group as a rich new area of conquest. The Starbotians, DDS and Dinos fought together in an all-out war against the Tarbotians. The war ended with the destruction of the Tarbotian fleet and the collapse of the Federation with their death of it's dictator Dr Slow and much of the ruling class.

The Federation sank into civil war for a few years as planetary strongmen attempted to seize power in the vacuum however a couple of years ago a living Dr Slow from an alternative dimension was accidentally sent into our own and took over the tottering Federation again. He has sorted out the internal strife (i.e. lots of executions) and begun to rebuild the fleet. Recently the Tarbotians did launch a probing excursion into DDS space. It was repelled but the signs are that the Tarbotians are back and one day will launch a new invasion.

Some recent stories

Graphical representations of some recent events in the DDS. First we have two stories from the origins of the shadowy Hoods (those white sheeted fucks). In Alliance With The Devil we see how Action Painting was recruited by Rotarios (R is for Regal O is for Oblivion T is for Top A is for Anarchy R is for Rebel I is for Invincible O is for Obscene and S is for Sex-ay). In The Boss Under A Tack the Hoods begin their attacks against the DDS. More recently in Lets Paintball Windy is rewarded...

The ANALyst : Life begins at 40 for Windscorpion?

Dr P.X. Vincent OBE this week discusses the icon of the DDS Windscorpion and how his role in the DDS is changing.

Windscorpion or Windy, you all know him. For most of the life of the DDS he has been it's icon and leader. From his time as DDS Commander to his long reign as the power behind the throne as DDS Protector the DDS was built by Windscorpion and it became a reflection of his values and his abilities.

But are times changing? The regime of Lord Rotarios has seen Windscorpion's role diminish. Windscorpion is now approaching 40, is he slowing down? Is the rampant young bull of the early 2090s becoming a flabby executive in the late 2100s? Is his brand of hard sexuality and libertarianism sports entertainment now dated in the New DDS of Lord Rotarios and his professionalism?

The answer is no, not yet but Windscorpion does need to reinvent himself as he reaches the 40 milestone. He needs to adapt his message to the New DDS. He has tried to restore his gay sex cult the Windy Massive from the oblivion of the Cult Of Windy (which was massacred by the Hoods) but it just remains a fringe group. Basically a collection of fitness freaks and misfits with no friends who resort to violent buggery and sado-masocism as a result of a lack of interpersonal skills. Young men are shying away from the WM with it's messages of sexual violence, hedonistic gay abandon and cocktails and finding the Hoods and professionalism a more worthwhile pursuit. Why spent time hurting other young men when you could be spending your time in study and self-improvment. As the DDS has always been a haven to lost young men who have no friends and no future the rewarding message of the Hoods has proven more attractive than the self-destructive oblivion of the Windy Massive.

So Windscorpion needs to reinvent the WM, to make it a creative regime instead of just painful. To make more of it than just an endless gay orgy. Unfortunately for Windscorpion there are signs that he is taking the other extreme : taking the WM into ever more violent avenues of humiliation, self-abuse and degradation. Windscorpion needs to make a virtue of the physical aspects of WM : fitness, self-belief and endurance. Not use it as a by-product of bottom abuse.

DDS to build light cruisers? / Other fleet news

Action Painting held a media briefing with reporters yesterday in which he discussed various issues to do with the DDS space fleet. He said the DDS was looking at a light cruiser design for general duties to fill the gap between heavy cruisers and the forthcoming Panther destroyers. These designs are all optimised for combat he said and the DDS requires a fleet of general purpose ships for long range patrol, science missions and surveying that also can handle themselves in combat. The DDS were now looking at the design and could begin building a light cruiser by 2109.

In other news the DDS fleet is going to lose 3 ships but gain 1. Quasar class cruisers 1218 Kaon and 1219 Pion as well as Solaris II class frigate 3810 Algol have been sold. The Quasars to the Raegris and the Solaris to the Aritans. Terran Sea frigate 3212 Banda Sea has completed trials and will be accepted into service in a few days. The sale of the 2 Quasars was excepted as the DDS only want a fleet of 12 of the type. The price has not been disclosed. The Solaris sale is a surprise as the DDS were not expected to sell the Solaris off until the Rhombus entered service however the Aritans offered an extra 23 million zarks (making 223 million) if the ship be sold now. Its thought the Aritans will buy 3 more of the ships at a later date.

Interview : Quarz

DDS stalwart Quarz, ex-captain of the Isometric, talks exclusively to LVN!

Latest Victory News : Captain Quarz-

Quarz : EEK! You surprised me.

LVN : Sorry. The SS Isometric is now being rebuilt ready to test Panther technology. Have you been reassigned a new ship?

Q : Its ok just don't be so loud. Its a bit scary. I have been assigned a new ship... the SS Sappho.

LVN : A Pentekonter class patrol boat?

Q : Yes Windy requested it personally...

LVN : Isn't that a bit dangerous? No longer on the powerful Isometric but now on a weakly armed and slow patrol boat?

Q : ARE YOU TRYING TO UPSET ME?!?!?!?

LVN : Oh i am sorry. Oh you seem to have fainted. Aha here comes Delicate Flower with some soothing cream. I wonder why hes removing Quarz's trousers?

DDS to donate military hardware to Aritans

The DDS have announced they are going to give military hardware to New Arit to assist their force rebuilding. Two Coril shuttles will be transferred to the Arit fleet soon. The DDS are also going to give the Aritans their entire stock of spares for the Intrepid class destroyer. As per the terms of the transfer the Aritans will return any spares required for the sole remaining Intrepid remaining in DDS service. Some Starsystem spares will also be given.

Hoods will get Gemini, to be renamed... Hood

A spokeshood from The Hoods today told reporters that the Hoods were indeed getting a Solaris class ship. 3805 Gemini has been given to the Hoods and has been renamed 3805H Hood. The H is a new code for ships operated by the Hoods of course.

The ship will be operated by a mixed crew of DDS and Hoods until enough Hoods have spaceship experience and a full Hood crew can be put in place. The spokeshood did not comment on the rumour in some publications that the Hoods have managed to get an advanced Utrek cloaking device via a third party and will have it installed aboard their ship.

Hoods to get ship

It is understood that one of the DDS' Solaris-II class scout/frigates is to be transferred to the use of the Hoods (those white-sheeted f**ks). The Hoods' main training facility is on New Jakarta and they need a ship for the transfer of personnel to and from this facility, as well as for some other unspecified missions. 3805 Gemini is thought to be the ship that will be given to the Hoods as it is scheduled to undergo a B-exam heavy maintenance programme in a few days.