1st Fleet reach position of the SS Hydra

The 1st Fleet, commanded by Windscorpion, has reached the position in unclaimed space that the SS Hydra was criminally attacked by the off-message Tarbotians. As yet the DDS have not detected any Tarbotian activity in the area but full scans continue. More news as we get it.

Character of the week : Sleeze

For a long time now Sleeze has been Oojok's closest ally. The pair grew up together on the tough streets of the poor East Lamarwai district of Dino-Town. As with many young men with poor education and poorer prospects they fell into a life of crime. They made a minor name for themselves in the gang turf wars in Dino-Town before leaving the planet to try on the new human colonies. Oojok's gang became big news with Sleeze taking a leading role.

When Oojok became the leader of the clones he named Sleeze, the only man he really trusts, as his deputy. This has not gone down too well with the clones who would prefer a clone to be deputy. Sleeze is Oojok's backup, he runs the ODS and other secret organisations that maintain Oojok's grip on power and keep an eye on the clergy and army.

Sleeze's importance to Oojok cannot be overstated. Without him Oojok would probably not now be the man he is. Sleeze is a cool and calculating individual, only to his blood-brother Oojok does he have friendship. Everyone else is a potential enemy.

DDS Training School opened by Lord Rotarios

Lord Rotarios, oh our Lord we are so unworthy to be trod on by thee!, has opened the new state-of-the-art training school on Solaris. The new DDS Training School will instruct the next generation of professionals in the true path to professional joy, Effort Not Entertainment. The new school also includes the new Hood Training Academy where recruits to the Holy Order will be instructed in the strict, brutal, spartan life of an acolyte of professionalism!

Lord Rotarios said, "Send your young to me and I will make them into Men, and Women of course. Their old corrupt weaknesses shall be erased and replaced by focussed professional zeal!"

Austini 55 "under control"

The HCS is reporting that the situation on Austini 55 is "under control" with rebel forces surrounded in the capital city. Heavy fighting has been going on on the far-flung planet for some weeks now between rebel HCS units (thought to be under the command of Benito) and loyal HCS units under the control of Governor Fortran.

Although the rebels did have the upper hand at the start the arrival of loyalist re-inforcements a few weeks ago (according to Dino News) has turned the tide of the battle. The HCS refuse to give any more information though the DDS News Agency (DNA) is reporting at least 2,000 fatalities on the loyalist side alone to date.

Character of the week : The Orchid

The Orchid, the highest ranking female officer in the DDS, is one of the 3 "Junior Triad" with Sea Urchin and Horsehead who have dominated the DDS for some time. As head of the 2nd Fleet which defends the central planets of the UNP The Orchid has a central role in the defense of the DDS, which is why Lord Rotarios, hail to thee!, was very keen to make Orchid a loyalist.

And indeed The Orchid has become on-message, finding true joy in the professionalism and structure of the New DDS which stands for cleaner speed cameras, asylum centre discipline and targetting realisation. "Tough on anti-professionalism, tough on the causes of anti-professionalism!" is The Orchid's motto as her House is the undisputed champion of the DDS, winning all but 1 of the monthly House competitions to date.

The Orchid is a tough operator, with a great skill at command and resource management. The New DDS is sure that she has a bright future in our organisation.

Quasar ILU details announced / Sale of ships

One of the big upgrade programmes planned to start in 2107 is the Quasar ILU which will keep these cruisers state-of-the-art into the next decade. Although the upgrade is still some way away the DDS have announced some details of what is planned. ILU is a major rebuild and upgrade and most systems on the ships will be replaced and improved. Wireless control systems and a new 1024-bit databus will be fitted as well as improved targetting systems allowing the Quasar to handle 100 simultaneous targets. Next year 1211 Positron will undergo testing of various equipments that will be used in the ILU programme.

In other news the sale of several surplus Quasars is to go ahead after negotiations with the Raegris. The deal, which includes spares, training and maintenance equipment is expected to be worth around 6.7 billion zarks.

Lord Rotarios visits Delta 9

Lord Rotarios, hail to his professional icon!, today became the first DDS Commander to visit far-flung Delta 9. He reviewed a batallion of DDS troops and also presented the commander of DDS forces on the planet with a sash to reward his professionalism. Lord Rotarios, hail to his iconic professionalism!, said that every DDS soldier has his part to play in the spread of professionalism. "Strength not size." He said, "The modern New DDS, which stands for cleaner rifles, barrack room discipline and women soldiers in khaki skirts, is a scalpel not a club."

Delta 9 is one of the newer planets in the UNP/DDS collective, and has a human colonist population of 3 million. Rich mineral wealth means it will be a strategic target for any aggressors thus the DDS will maintain and improve it's facilities on the planet, Lord Rotarios added.

Ronald pledges his future to the Dinos

Emperor Ronald, in an interview with Dino-Land's D24 News, has said he does not plan to stand down and intends to remain Emperor for the foreseeable future. Rumours were flying around the Empire that Ronald would step down and allow someone such as Smellyson or Cruggson to take his place as one of the Empire's twin Emperors. However Ronald has quashed speculation by pledging his future to the crown.

"I did consider stepping down." Ronald said, "But I think the boredom would kill me after a few weeks of D.I.Y. and daytime TV. My first reign was for around 50 years, this one so far is just 5 so I have a long way to go. I'm not so old yet. Ecto the 3rd was older than I am now when he became Emperor anyway, I could go on for centuries yet!"

One reason for the change of mind is thought to be the lack of viable candidates at the moment though Ronald chose not to comment on this matter. Ronald did indicate that he wished to bring on some of the young guns and give them more experience in command. Analysts think Ronald is merely postponing his retirement and wishes to groom his successor.

Co-Emperor Jimmy, meanwhile, is to visit Pulsin next month. It will be the first off-planet visit since he became Emperor last year following the dissappearance of M-B-H.

House news roundup

Trojan Warlord was recently appointed the co-ordinator of the DDS House System by Director Of Operations Action Painting. He will be presenting a regular roundup of DDS House activities exclusive to Latest Victory News!

Starting with the champion House, Yellow House (The Orchid) are currently busy with Oscar and Austini 55. Von Kane successfully won 50 points for his house with his successful mission on Oscar to assess the situation there. Hammerite won 25 points for his monitoring of the situation on Austini 55. Quarz also won 20 points for the house with another successful test of distributed crewing using the SS Isometric.

Blue House (Horsehead) has been testing out some new land weapons at the DDS proving ground on Proxima 5 earning 35 points for the house. Knobhead has also earnt 10 points for a successful anti-pirate sweep in the Delorean System.

Red House (Windscorpion) stands to win a massive 100 house points if they engage and defeat the Tarbotians. They have earnt 10 points so far for successfully arranging their fleet. Some elements in their fleet are from other houses however so there will be a sharing of the reward, pro rata.

Finally Green House (Sea Urchin) have earnt 15 points for busting a Porquatian terrorist cell. Jelanda also won 10 points for his house after a successful training mission of the New Arit military. Thats all for now folks!

House results : glory for Orchid again!

The Orchid's Yellow House has yet again won the DDS House Shield, the most prestigeous award in the New DDS which stands for a New Professional Deal for all. The presentation of the shield for June's top House was delayed because The Orchid was away from GHQ on a mission. She was presented with the shield at a ceremony at the New DDS Media Centre by Director of Communications Vodaphone.

The Orchid thanked her House for their efforts but said they must redouble their toil next month. She promised that Yellow House would not rest on it's laurels!

Oscar situation update

Earlier this year the troubled planet of Oscar (which is split between the humans and clones) caught the attention of the galaxy's media when the insane human leader Cooker Tee captured The Orchid and demanded the DDS assist his side in their war with the clones. The DDS regained their officer and punished Tee's forces, devastating the government building and capturing Tee who met a grisy fate, death after much brutal torture.

Oscar's human territory descended into near civil war, this prompted the DDS to send one of it's officers there, Captain Von Kane, to assess the situation. He managed to stabilise the human side after a few well chosen downsizings. Von Kane, who later joined the 1st Fleet, told LVN "Der human schwein needed the hard brutal jackboot of der DDS ja?" Vodaphone added, "The situation has normalised and we hope that both sides can now find peace." It is thought that the 1st DDS Army Brigade remains on standby for deployment however if the situation worsens again.

Character Of The Week : Crickson

Crickson, the younger brother of Cruggson, is a rising talent in the Dino Army though many wonder how much talent he actually has. Crickson's biggest claim to fame is coming fifth in Dino Big Brother. He entered the competition as an undercover agent to discover which of the other contestants was a mafia boss who had undergone cosmetic surgery. Crickson was chosen for this role as he was the only man anyone could think of who wouldn't stand out in that collection of freaks.

Crickson was successful in his mission and it helped gain him the favour of senior army figures who placed him in Z-B-H's elite unit. Later on his BB expertise proved invaluable when Z-B-H's team was tasked with getting Ronaldson, the camp youngest son of Ronald, out of Dino Big Brother 2. Crickson is a competant yet unspectacular performer who is still desperately trying to wring out the last bit of fame from his reality TV experience.

Dinos to join DDS force against Tarbotians

The New DDS, which stands for cleaner schoolchildren, discipline for nurses and an ASBO for all, is pleased to announce that following discussions with Deputy Emperor Cruggson the Dinos will be joining the DDS force against the Tarbotians. The 1st Fleet is currently en route to the location of the criminal destruction of the SS Hydra earlier this year.

Director Of Communications Vodaphone said that a detachment of the Dino 3rd Space Squadron headed by Tribune Fuzzy would join the DDS forces within a few days. Fuzzy is well known to the DDS having lead the Dino components in joint-operations against the Porquatians and the Rectoids.

A short interview with Cruggson

Dino deputy-emperor Cruggson visited the New DDS Director Of Communications Vodaphone today to discuss the Tarbotian situation and some inter-operability issues. After his meeting we managed to gain this short meeting with him, the interview was conducted in Dinoese via an interpreter.

Latest Victory News : Cruggson, will the Dinos be taking part in the DDS operation against the Tarbotians?

Cruggson : Its too early to say yet, obviously the SS Hydra was destroyed not that far from our soverign territory so we also are keen to deter any Tarbotian expansion into that area.

LVN : Did Vodaphone request the Dinos assist?

CRG : I cannot say sorry.

LVN : Have you any forces in the area already?

CRG : Obviously we have deployments throughout our territory. Following the attack one of our patrols did investigate and try to assist but unfortunately there were no survivors.

LVN : Are the Dinos worried about the Tarbotians returning?

CRG : It is a concern of course, the war against the Tarbotians was very costly. No one really wants to go through that again. But if we have to then we are ready.

LVN : Finally is Ronald really going to retire? If so, who will be the new Emperor? Yourself?

CRG : There has been no official decision by Ron yet. When he took over again he did say it would be for a short period of time. I don't think I will ever be an Emperor, I suspect Ronald will select someone from a younger generation. OK thank you!

UV88 : Megara

The latest volume of DDS stories is named after the infamous ODS/HCS agent and he is featured in two of the stories. In Humanity's Greatest Crime Megara recalls how he engineered the demise of the Rectoids, following on from that Crushing Of A Soul sees the increasingly fraught relationship between Megara and Dicknose reach a crisis point.

The New Chosen One shows how Lakes became SS Commander. Finally End Of The Line? sees Ronald considering retirement from the Emperorship of the Dinos.

The book is available in all good bookshops and brothels across the UNP.

META : Schedule for UV Books

After the successful release of UV88 its perhaps time to discuss the new schedule for releases of DDS product. In the past a new book was released every fortnight (making 26 issues a year of course). With this website driving the DDS timeline we shall be releasing printed books on a much lesser rate, we are planning to release every two months instead. UV88 thus is the release for May-June.

The next book (UV89) is therefore due at the end of august. This will give us 6 UV books a year, however we are also planning at least 2 specials a year. The first, UV90, will feature a number of Ronald adventures from the past. These extra books will not be part of the continuing DDS timeline however will include DDS characters and history. We don't know exactly when it will be released, perhaps even before UV89.

New SS Commander Lakes speaks out

Following his triumph in the SS Commander election Lakes has maintained a low profile while disgruntled supporters of the losing candidates Tekan and Gillespie let off steam. The death toll is thought to have been in single figures. Finally Lakes gave an interview to SS-TV where he thanked the SS for electing him their leader.

He announced that former SS Commander Gibson would be his deputy though refused to answer when asked if this appointment had been imposed on him by Emperor Jimmy. Lakes also did not answer when questioned over whether the arrest of the other 2 candidates prior to the election by himself helped his cause.

Lakes did say however that he would be lenient with the traitors and they would only receive 35 years hard labour each. Lakes promised the SS would now enter a new era of brutal repression of dino rights and total law enforcement. His audience of SS officers cheered this, several also seemed to be overcome with pleasure at this news...

Character Of The Week : The Friar

The Friar is the second most powerful figure in the Church Of Oojok and thus a very influential figure in the Oojok Star Empire. The Friar has been an ally of Oojok since the earliest days of the HCS. He was one of the "Gang Of Four" along with XE, Captain Clone and Herr Clone which were Oojok's vanguard in the chaotic early days of the clone wars, always ready to back up XE in matters of a spiritual nature.

However as the empire grew so did The Friar's waistline as he truly enjoyed the new riches of conquest, especially 24 hour banquets. His influence began to wane and his relationship with XE began to fracture. Often he disagreed with XE on matters of policy. When XE slew Windy's boyfriend Ralphie and taunted The Apogee Of Man, The Friar was shocked and called XE insane.

After Windy's revenge and XE was killed The Friar became the new ally to his replacement, Ayatollah Akiwati who was very like XE in every way... The Friar has trimmed down slightly and regained his vigour, though his rich tastes are still legendary. Rumours of him being a supporter of Benito remain unproven though and are strenuously denied.