House results : glory for Orchid, pain for Sea Urchin!

The Orchid's Yellow House yet again won the DDS House Shield, the most prestigeous award in the New DDS which stands for personal re-direction, right sizing and proper speed dating strategic direction, however the attention was on whose house finished last...

Sea Urchin's Green House was the unfortunate loser after their unprofessional bungling of the Porquat 640 situation. As per the instructions of Lord Rotarios, hail to his name!, the staff of the House received a beating at the hands of the Hood's Special Instruction Squad. It is hoped this pain and humiliation will spur them onto greater efforts!

Character of the week : Cruggson

Senator Cruggson, one of the Deputy Emperors of the Dino Empire, has had a long career and has literally risen all the way through the ranks. An engineer of peerless skills and ingenuity he soon came to the attention of the new Emperor Ronald and was recruited to his elite 6th Legion. Cruggson's skills managed to save the day many times, getting that extra last bit of thrust out of the engines or repairing critical damage in time to avoid oblivion.

Cruggson also became a close friend of Ronald and rose to Legate rank, being made Minister Of Science and Industry in Ronald's administration. In reality he has not really done much work in this role, continuing to be chief engineer in Ronald's fleet. In recent years he has also taken to command the odd mission himself.

A key ally in the battle against M-B-H Cruggson was rewarded by being made Deputy to the new Co-Emperor Jimmy in 2104. Some even say he could replace Ronald himself when the Glorious One finally steps down. Cruggson is one of the true superstars of the Dino story.

UV87 : Back 2 Life

trash80 web design is proud to announce the latest volume of DDS stories, UV87 : Back 2 Life. In "The Deeper Spiral" Lakes finds his plots to become SS Commander thrawted by Razorback. "Return Of The Tarbotians" documents the resurrection of Dr Slow and the destruction of the SS Hydra by a Tarbotian surprise attack. "Redjec" details what happens next to the DDS Security Officer after that Xmas party... Finally "Awesome On Sunday" shows us Lord Rotarios' (Hail to His Name!) changes to the House system. Enjoy! Available in all inter-galactic bookshops and brothels.

Teams announced for Central Facility vs Operational Staff cricket match

The teams for the first annual cricket match between CenFac (Central Facility) and OpSys (Operational Systems) Staff have been announced, the game to take place at GHQ Recreational Grounds on the 1st of June. Lord Rotarios, glory to his professionalism!, leads the CenFac XI and trusts that the professionalism shown by his team will crush OpSys who are to be led by Horsehead.

The teams :

CenFac XI : Action Painting, Hood Verisa, Rotarios*, Hood Yulan, Vodaphone, Redjec+, Tsunami, Shiner, Hood Quentin, Socrates, Trojan Warlord

OpSys XI : Horsehead*, Truman, Boxman+, The Orchid, Quarz, Delicate Flower, Captain Tulip, VR Warrior, Red Alert, Captain Hoopla, Lieutenant Uganda

Results and news from the match will appear here.

Character of the week : Captain Clone

Captain Clone is one of the legends, one of the biggest names in HCS history. Captain Clone was one of the first soldiers recruited into the HCS by Oojok. Before this he served as a Centurion in the Clone Army of the pre-human contact Clone Nation. Captain Clone proved a soldier of rare skill and soon rose to prominence in the HCS, becoming the head of the HCS.

The HCS suffered numerous heavy defeats due to a lack of training and equipment but managed to avoid total defeat thanks to Captain Clone's leadership. Under his strategy the HCS grew to become a force that first matched and then destroyed the DDS culminating in Total Triumph. Captain Clone's stock in the empire was by now at an all-time high but his enemies were circling.

The Church hated Captain Clone, fearing in him a secular successor to Oojok, they engineered his downfall. They framed him for attempted murder on Oojok and Captain Clone was sent to prison. A few years later Captain Clone was released and given a seemingly suicidal mission : kill Windscorpion.

Captain Clone led a surprise attack on DDS GHQ but failed to kill Windscorpion in an epic battle, however Rotarios shot Windscorpion in the back, killing the DDS icon. Captain Clone returned to Cloneworld in triumph. Oojok restored him to HCS commander-in-chief.

Later on when Oojok re-organised his empire he made Captain Captain the head of the "western empire", a prestigeous role that makes him the defacto deputy to Oojok. The signs are that Oojok wishes to take the empire along a more secular course and Captain Clone is the man to lead it, will he have the last laugh on the clergy?

Bomb blasts rock Porquat 640

Seventeen bomb blasts across 3 major cities on Porquat 640 shattered the peace on sunday. Over 45 people have been reported killed by the explosions, including 4 DDS soldiers of peace. These attacks are the first for 7 months since the DDS liberating forces launched a crackdown on remnants of the old unprofessional regime. It is not known who is behind these attacks but Sea Urchin, the officer in charge of DDS forces on Porquat 640 suspected the insurgency to be the work of ultra-nationalist forces.

DDS Director Of Operations Action Painting condemned the attacks as "An assault on professionalism by people who have yet to realise the benefits of the New DDS which are personal growth, goal achievement and self-actualisation." Action Painting promised a "package of measures" to tackle the problem though he added, "In real terms acts of insurgency are down 47% on last year."

Character Of The Week : Redjec

Redjec, the New DDS head of security is a model professional in the New DDS; which stands for personal goal targetting, rightsizing and self-actualisation. His early career in the DDS is shrouded in obscurity, he joined the DDS in 2099 and served as a soldier in the 3rd DDS Infantry Brigade.

Seeing no future in the army he transferred to the Space Fleet and soon rose to first mate on the SS Isometric under the command of Captain Quarz. His relationship with Quarz was acrimonious, and he sought to usurp his commander who he regarded as wetter than the Manchester weather forecast.

Redjec was an early convert to the New DDS and he helped in bringing down the obsolete old regime of sadness, financial prudency and degenerate activity and replacing it with the New DDS; which stands for personal growth, professional realisation and focus-group driven strategy. He led the first brigade of Hoods to crush dissent under the steel boot of professionalism!

With Action Painting's promotion to Director Of Operations Redjec took over DDS Security and has proven adept in the fight against unprofessionalism. However he has shown a weakness in his obsession with the downfall of Quarz, maybe he veers towards being off-message. We suggest he redirects his professional goal towards holistic self-actualisation.

DDS Fleet announce programmes for next financial year

The DDS Fleet Staff has announced it's equipment programmes for the new financial year 2105/6. All in all 2.2 billion zarks are being invested in new equipment and upgrades. Highlights include :

• Initial development of the next generation frigate the Isometric III class including a refit of the Isometric Prototype for development work
  
• Construction of 12 Terran Sea frigates
• Construction of the prototype and 3 production models of the Pentekonter corvette class
• Construction of 3 Provider transports, 2 Extender oilers, and 1 Marconi EW ships
• Radio updates for Pulsar and Quasar fleets with new 512-bit encrypted radio packet service
• 3 Intrepid class destroyers and 5 Starsystem frigates will be withdrawn, 1 Starsystem will be refitted for the training fleet. This will mean all remaining Starsystems will be with the training fleet, it is likely that the fleet will be renumbered in the training 6xxx sequence.
  
• Upgrading of Isometric fleet with improved communication sub-systems
  

House results : another win for Yellow!

The Orchid's Yellow House has yet again won the DDS Inter-House contest for May 2105. Central Committee applauds the sustained professionalism of the heroes of Yellow House! However Lord Rotarios, Glory to his name!, has announced that as an incentive to the other Houses to raise their game June will also bring an "award" for the House with the lowest points total.

The House with the lowest points total will be punished by the Hoods in the form of a whipping. The 3 other House leaders, Sea Urchin, Windscorpion and Horsehead were unavailable for comment.

SS Hydra destroyed

The Solaris class frigate SS Hydra (FF3802) has been destroyed in combat with an unknown enemy, but suspected to be the Tarbotians. The frigate was on long range patrol LR014 on the route between New Jakarta and Lornaca Melnig when it was suddenly attacked by a force of unidentified warships. The Hydra was destroyed despite a heroic professional performance and is a credit to the New DDS which stands for personal development, targetted career progression and self-actualisation.

Lord Rotarios, hail to his professional name, has ordered the 1st DDS Fleet to the area.

Character Of The Week : Lakes

(the first of a new feature where we profile a notable character in the DDS universe, featuring one who has made a sizeable impact this week. to start with we look at the Deputy SS Commander Lakes)

Lakes' rise to power in the Dino Empire has been remarkable considering his lack of achievement and even greater lack of talent. He first rose to notice as a petty thug in Oojok's criminal gang. He did not have much status there. He was just behind the man who made Sleeze's hats in the gang's heirarchy. When Oojok left his criminal activities behind to concentrate on the Clone empire Lakes found himself out in the cold.

Lakes tried to take over the remnants of the gang himself but following a good kicking from the other members was persuaded to try his talents elsewhere. Lakes returned to his native Dino-Land where he made a name for himself as a pretty useless criminal. He tried pimping but kept being beaten up by his girls.

When M-B-H began his descent into darkness he happened upon Lakes in an SS detention centre that he had been touring at the time. He saw in Lakes the perfect yes-man and stooge. Lakes found himself hired by M-B-H.

As The Chosen One began to spin his web of depravity and doom Lakes found himself given an official role in the SS. Though he was despised by his fellow SS men as being a petty criminal instead of a refined criminal as is the SS norm. When M-B-H became Co-Emperor Lakes was promoted to Deputy SS Commander.

Following M-B-H's downfall Lakes found himself in the dock. However he discovered he had a talent for betrayal and he grassed on an SS plot to kill Jimmy. In return Lakes was cleared of all charges against him and allowed to keep his SS rank. Now Lakes seeks to take the vacant SS Commander post but many in the Empire despise him. Unfortunately for Lakes his exposure to the genius of M-B-H has led him to think that he is a cerebral assassin as well...

SS to elect new leader?

The feared security police of the Dino Empire the Security Section (SS) is taking the unprecedented step of electing it's new commander following the resignation of Stinkyson earlier this year. Co-Emperor Jimmy made the decision following a bloody jockeying for position by various factions including Lakes, the ally of M-B-H and head of the bestial Black Dragon Martyrs Brigade.

It is thought that Lakes was behind the bombing of SS Espionage HQ that killed Rindleson, a rival for the post, though no proof was found. Jimmy hopes that by putting the commandership to a vote it will stop the unpopular Lakes from rising to the role. The question of democracy has confused the SS who are used to crushing dissent under their jackboots not nurturing it.