I am Redjec, head of DDS Security. You may know of me, i have so many times fallen short of greatness by a gnat's wing. Now i am going to change that once and for all with the formation of my own faction : Team Redjec.
There is no I in "Team Redjec" but there is in "I Hate Quarz"
I did consider joining Hoods 2.0 but why try and stick to the past when the future is much more bright. Anyway i don't like self-flagellation. I instead created my own faction which will aid me as i progress through the various levels of DDS middle management until i am at my rightful place : DDS Commander!
I hate Quarz.
I have a motley team assisting me in this. Small in number maybe but big in talent, well some of them anyway. Dump of course is the muscle to my brains. He is the beef to my unparalleled intellect. He is the meat and i am the bread. Wait that sounds too gay. Dump does not speak after a traumatic event in his teenage years when he kissed a girl by mistake. He likes to hurt people, especially young men. One day he will hurt Quarz.
The Onion is my cousin, yes he is bloody annoying but my Mummy told me to get him a job. He is intelligent, of course his brainpower is a mere 60W whereas i am an ...er... ultrawatt. He likes to collect bus numbers. I have tasked The Onion with working out the optimum way of torturing Quarz so that the rest of his miserable life is as painful and sorrowful as possible. Just like living in Wolverhampton.
The Hoplite i enlisted to my team because no body wants him, he does have a hot sister though. Finally we have Trojan Warlord, the world's most useless man. Why did i enlist him? Well someone has to clean out the bogs. Hopefully he can soon flush out what remains of Quarz after i end his miserable life.
Teething troubles
LPG, who is a gay i think, told me to punish a certain soldier called Mark Remes. That name sounds like Quarz so i unleashed Dump on his ass. Unfortunately we got the wrong guy. LPG shouted at me. Meanwhile Trojan Warlord managed to destroy the toilet causing a flood in B Block that leaked into the mainframe room causing the entire GHQ air conditioning and heating system to fail. Now about 180 big angry men are beating TW's ass.
That reminds me of Quarz. I so want to hurt him. I hate him.
Why I hate Quarz
I hate Quarz because he is the saddest being in the universe and yet has a ship captaincy whereas I, his infinite superior in every single possible metric, have been denied this great honour. That is despite being a great success in nearly everything i have ever done. Forget what those lying report sheets have said. So there he is, captain of a ship, no doubt buggering his cabin boy while wearing a Hello Kitty bikini. Well he might be Hello Kitty, i am Bad Badtz Maru baby, and that means i kick ass.
Dump scares me, i am glad he is on my side. He does not say a word, when he was a teenager he was rendered mute by a trauma when he kissed a boy who turned out to be a girl. That happened to me... i mean a friend of mine once, in Bangkok. Chicks with dicks though, fascinating subject. You just can't tell, apparently. I hate Quarz.
